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Reader Question: The Baby Blues

Reader Question: The Baby Blues

On my Here’s How to Raise a Baby post, reader Diane Davis asked:

“Have you had any sadness or baby blues?”

 

Thanks for the question, Diane!

I’m going to start off by saying that I’m not a doctor, so any advice is strictly based on my very limited experience – but this is an important topic that deserves attention. “Baby blues” and “postpartum depression” are two different things. Anywhere from 70 to 80 percent of mothers get the baby blues and it usually only lasts a couple weeks after giving birth. If you’re experiencing these feeling for longer than that, please, please, please from the bottom of my heart, go find help. You may be suffering from postpartum depression and you don’t have to suffer alone. Do it for me, ok?

Being a new mum is one of the most overwhelming experiences I’ve ever had. Even though I had nine months to prepare, there’s really no way to understand just how much your life is about to change until you’ve given birth. I love my son more than anything, but some things will never be the same again. Maks and I can still go out on dates, see our friends or head back to work, but for the most part, my thoughts, my time, my purpose, and my body are all dedicated to the care and wellbeing this little person. It’s a lot to wrap your head around in such a short period of time.

Whether it’s the baby blues or just crazy hormones, there were a lot of tears in those first couple of weeks. I felt like a failure when I couldn’t get Shai to sleep right away because I couldn’t figure out why he was crying. I felt broken when I was having trouble squeezing out enough milk to feed my son because my boobs had gone rock hard and my nipples bleeding from a plugged duct. I felt disgusting the first time I looked at myself in the mirror and all I could see is this body that I didn’t recognize with a huge stomach, engorged breasts and cellulite thighs.

You know what helped? Trusting the people around you and time. I felt like a failure because I wanted to be a good mother, so I sought the advice of good mothers around me. I felt broken because I thought I wouldn’t be able to provide for my son, so I kept working and trying until I was able to get the amount of milk he needed. I felt disgusting because my body was different, so I let Maks know how I was feeling and hugged me and told me how amazing this thing I just did was and let me know how much he loved me until I felt like the most beautiful person in the world.

So, yes, baby blues do happen – even for optimistic people like myself. You just have to give it time and take time for yourself. Cry if you need to and let yourself be vulnerable, but know there’s a light at the end of the tunnel. It’s still your life, just with a little bonus.

I love hearing from my fans and readers! If you have any questions or topics you’d like me to talk about, comment or use the contact form to submit an editorial inquiry.

Photo Credit: Stefania Orru

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  1. You are truly inspiring. I had major blues the first few weeks and it’s so great to know that I’m not alone

    Posted by: Yaz on June 27, 2017 at 12:33 am
  2. The first few weeks are so hard! I am a new mom to an 8 month old baby girl and as much as you prepare yourself before they arrive, it hits you those first few nights that nothing will ever be the same. Now I can’t remember what life was like before her, nor do I want to! It only gets more exciting and more rewarding as she’s getting older. Your love just continues to grow. Love reading all of your posts Peta, thank you for sharing!

    Posted by: Jenna on March 31, 2017 at 3:16 pm
  3. Hi PETA, I’ve had baby blues when I had my daughter. I cried almost everyday for no reason and I felt like I failed as a mother and I realized how hard it was to take care of little person. But it lasted few weeks or a month, I felt alittle better. That was 15 years ago and my daughter turns out to be beautiful young lady and we are very proud of her. You can do it, PETA

    Posted by: Cindy on March 31, 2017 at 2:22 pm
  4. “It’s still your life, just with a little bonus.” this phrase just made me feel better than I have in weeks!
    My son is now 4 weeks old, I’m on the verge of exhaustion and feeling like I don’t own my life anymore, wondering if I will ever be able to do the things that made me happy… But I guess you are right, he is my little bonus 🙂 🙂

    Posted by: Morgana on March 31, 2017 at 1:04 pm
  5. Hi PETA, I love the honesty of this post. This is so true. I just had my 2nd son 5 months ago and back to work. Juggling everything you need to do at home and work is the hardest job. It helps to cry and just talk to other parents going thru it also.
    It is the hardest but most rewarding job in the world!

    Posted by: Stephanie on March 31, 2017 at 12:50 pm
  6. Your amazing I am an old women 65 this coming august and i just love visiting your page and of course DWTS. I was once a beautiful women very slim and than diagnosed with Lupus. Steroids put 60 plus pounds on me and caused an eye disease lost some of the weight but now everything is old and sagging. LOL. Keep posting and sharing.

    Posted by: Paula Claudette Vines on March 30, 2017 at 5:18 pm
  7. From the very beginning and I have watched the show from the very first show. You have always presented your self as a very caring and loving person. That never leaves you. When I heard you were having a baby I new you would be a wonderful loving and caring mother. No one is ever giving a book to start. It comes from the heart.

    Posted by: Karen on March 30, 2017 at 2:52 pm
  8. It’s so comforting to hear other mother’s pretty similar experiences. I have an almost 4 mnths old(I have been watching show for years & thought it was really awesome Peta that we were pregnant at same time!) It’s so hard coming home from hospital feeling the baby blues then feeling bad for having them. People say but u have this beautiful, healthy baby & it’s like yes that is why I feel even more horrible. It is just hormones & the huge revalation that u are this beautiful little person’s whole lifeline. U would think this occurred during pregnancy but it just doesn’t for some reasons! Hang in there Moms u r all wonderful. Having a spouse or someone close to u to just give u a breather is key. My husband gives me Mondays when DWTS is on & I give him Sundays when Walking Dead is on to be free fr all baby duties Sounds like a small thing but as we know the most small things are sometimes the greatest, most life changing ❤

    Posted by: Priscilla W on March 30, 2017 at 1:06 pm